ya dads aren't the best wingmen
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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