you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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