I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
