I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
