Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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