I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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