So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
