C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
