my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
