the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
last night I used snow as a chaser
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