Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
