If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
