are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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