I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
