Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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