Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
