You can't motorboat a personality
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
