Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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