Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize