he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
