You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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