Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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