Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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