BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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