you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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