OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
