dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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