Pregnant stripper...not hot.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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