Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
