Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
