eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
