I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
