We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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