Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
