Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
