Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
