i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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