Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
