It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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