Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
