ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
