well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
