you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
