omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize