Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
