You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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