apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize