no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
