It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
