i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
