omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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