You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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