If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
