i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
