It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You need Xanax blowdarts
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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