first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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