You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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