I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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