the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
