hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
